What's Unique about us?

3 Why's To Choose Right Meow

15 Years Of Experience

Because you don't have 9 lives to choose the right therapist... I've spent $300k worth of errors, save your time & money and learn from experience.

Dapper Cat Therapist

The studio environment is not only dapper but energetically dynamic... EMF Remediated as of 10/01/2024 and beautifully cultivated studio.

600+ Hours Con. Ed

Because education should never end regardless of quality of care... Toxic-Bile Theory, how to sustainable detox. My teachers are phenomenal!
Regardless of all the wordy word shit you read here... Ask your self this... 'Do I resonate with this cat and his approach to restoring vitality and anti-fragility?... Also, is he funny?'

Why Choose Us?

   Below you will find a detailed accounting of why we feel we are different from the majority of functional medicine practitioners, massage therapists, manual therapists, nutritionists, life coaches, wellness strategists, and anyone sharing or applying practical information in the wellness industry.

  1. First Principles Orientated (physics-up approach to wellness, results-orientated via hierarchically evolutionary-biologically guidance, over all the following; scientific evidence, current clinical trends, academic interpretations, peer-acceptance, these all being somewhat important in their own respect but not trumping first principles, which often times align with ancestral practices being top priority, you'll have better reasoning why we apply myofascial release, trigger point therapy, etc.)
  2. Philosophically Informed (harm-reduction, methodical integration, psychologically-adapted, client co-created, personalized wellness strategy design, this requires intellectual exploration, emotional exploration, relational exploration, advocating for proper self-experimentation within the context above, etc.)
  3. Self-Empowerment Model (deep encouragement to integrate tactics to form a strategy that matches the above so there is less need to rely on any practitioner, thus all the free content on the website to provide you a foundation, as well as the actionable tissue report for clients who come to me for massage, bodywork or manual therapy)
  4. Motioning Self-Mastery (encouraging value-embodiment, practices that bring you closer to the lifestyle you desire for your self, also closer to understanding why you want what you want, etc. it is our belief that the better we fulfill our genetic potential the more effortlessly we motion self-mastery)
  5. Journey-Orientated (starting where you're at, this isn't about perfecting, it's about optimizing towards a destination called anti-fragility, vitality, and fulfilling your genetic potential so you can fulfill your values/purpose/aims/presence to contribute, create, and connect with all that which is personally deemed most meaningful for you)

Toxic-Bile Theory

After spending nearly $300k over a 10-year period to address a life-threatening gut-issue, I came to understand that there is a hierarchy of evidence to access vitality and anti-fragility. 
Avoid the Shilajit ads, I post this just for you to learn from Garrett!

First-Principles Guided

  • Are you altering your light-cycles to more closely match nature? (first AM sunlight, blocking blue-light, getting proper sun, not wearing sunglasses when outside, not wearing sunscreen depending on skin health, etc.)
  • Are you grounding with the earth, and spending enough quality-time in nature? (negative-ion exposure, reconnecting with the earth literally to alter non-native EMF exposure, etc.)
  • Are you keeping to consistent intermittent fully-functional movement? (deep squats, passive hangs, spinal twists, dynamic improvised movements, etc.)
  • Are you consistently engaged in creative self-expression? (art, any creative act, some people fixing a home up is creative, others it's writing, etc. so long as it initiates flow-state fulfillment and a sense of immortalization)
  • Are you consciously encoding beliefs within your mindset-orientation to reflect your values? (creating strategies to access deeper reaches of self-mastery and self-actualization)
  • Are you aware of Toxic-Bile Theory and how it governs the plurality of toxicity and deficiency conditions that lead to disease?


​Wellness Consult

Claim said 20 min complimentary in-person wellness consultation.

Want More Differentiation?

   The health-care and wellness industry is a goddamn bloody mess of parroted information that trickles down from echo-chambered groups. How do I know this? Because I was deeply sick a good portion of my life, which lead to study and practice countless avenues, tactics, and strategies to restore my vitality and anti-fragility. I found my self in a whirlwind of conflicting messages that I had to sort out to determine what aligned with evolutionary biology, and which simply met a scientific criteria or academic understanding? The following will detail some of the nuance of inquiry I go into both personally and professionally. Not an exhaustive list...

  1. What is the most critical variable in the hierarchy of achieving vitality & anti-fragility? Scientific data, clinical findings, evolutionary-biology congruency, client to method congruency, placebo & nocebo-orientation?
  2. Why is there such ambiguity surrounding protocols, methods, practice-philosophy, clinical results, product-use, contraindications, and theoretical mechanics regarding each individuals practice?
  3. Why do some practitioners charge what they charge? How do they come to these price mark-ups? Is there transparency in their pricing and what makes them different?
  4. Why isn't there better educational material for clients to fall-back on as reminders of fundamental basics?
  5. Why isn't each practitioners website meticulously designed to support a client in the process of discovering and eliminating the necessary variables to achieve both vitality and anti-fragility?
  6. Do human beings really need food-diversity to achieve nutrient-density, nutrient-diversity & high bio-availability?
  7. Is all this expensive lab testing required to achieve vitality and anti-fragility?
  8. Is all this supplementation needed to achieve vitality and anti-fragility?
  9. Could there be targeted supplementation to fill gaps of food deficits or body deficits?
  10. How to determine who is in a position for self-guided therapy and who really ought to have a practitioner?
  11. Why is it that so many clients have such low compliance to protocols suggested?

​​Britni Miller

Patient Specialist St. Luke's Health

"Brandon was recommended to me by a good friend of mine and has been an amazing asset to my overall health. He is so meticulous in all his work from the hands on portion to the detailed reports post appointment, he truly provides the complete package. In addition, Brandon is one of the most interesting people I have ever met and is an absolute pleasure to talk to. I would highly recommend his services to anyone looking to improve their life!"

​Kylin Hernandez

Girl Boss & All Around Ninja

"Are you looking for a massage therapist who is personable, relatable, charming & talented? Look no further, Brandon is your guy. I have known Brandon for a little over 3 years now & am constantly in awe & in shock of his talent & extensive knowledge on health & self care. I can confidently say that I will never look for another massage therapist or nutrition 'guru' (as I like to call him) I have texted him far too many times asking things like 'Is this normal' 'What is your opinion on this brand' all diet & self care related things that I can think of. Brandon replies in a respected amount of time with a branch of answers! Thank you, Brandon!"

First Principles Questions

 - Does the largest volume of food that you consume meet the following requirements?
  1. Low in vitamin A, D, Copper, and Sulfur
  2. Nutrient-Dense
  3. Modified to Reduce Further Toxicity (activated charcoal overnight sitting with rice to soak up arsenic, etc.)

- Does your digestive/nervous system meet the following assessment?
  1. Sufficient HCL Production (often people need to supplement betaine HCL w/ pepsin per protein-rich meal)
  2. Eating While In A Parasympathetic Nervous System Response (rest & digest vs fight or flight vs fawn or freeze)
  3. Eating With Gratitude For Each Meal (psychological and energetic anchoring to food/body relation)
  4. Proper Bile Production (ability to digest fats, modify gut terrain to prevent SIBO, etc.)
  5. Proper Enzyme Production (pancreatic enzyme production, biome-induced enzyme production, etc.)
  6. Intestinal Lining Thickness (sufficient mucosal health throughout GI tract prevents intestinal permeability)
  7. Diverse Healthy Microbiome (GI-Map test, zonulin testing, fiber-tolerance, food-residue tolerance, etc.)
  8. Healthy Oral Tolerance (food-tolerance, food sensitivities, food allergies, immune-sensitization, etc.)
  9. Balance of Supporting/Challenging Relationships (stabilizing, up-lifting, challenging, value-aligned relationships)
"If you care for people around you, you must make yourself into a person they enjoy being with."

Sadhguru